One of the grand daughters of Winnie Mandela has been left with a deep hole in her heart following the death of the icon who she calls her best friend, and she’s written a heartbreaking post expressing her pain.
Zoleka Mandela, who is the grand daughter of the legend Nelson Mandela and Winnie Mandela, said the recent death of her grandmother completely destroyed her. She added that the family officially marked the end of mourning on Saturday, August 4, but she will never stop mourning.
She wrote: “Saturday, 4th August 2018 marks the end of our mourning as a family … I don’t even know what that means exactly, how can anyone say how long you get over grief? I don’t think I ever will. I always knew that this loss would completely destroy me, I feel like I don’t even recognize myself anymore. Nothing will ever be the same without the one I loved more than I loved myself. I’m tired of being told that time heals, what you would have wanted for me, that you’re in a better place and tired of everyone around me pretending to have been the closest person to you. It only hurts more. Where were they when you were suffering in silence and pretending to be okay, when you actually needed their company and not another request from them to take more pictures with you that they are now posting on social media to advance their own interests? I envy them at times, I doubt they question their entire existence as I now do since your passing. How can love be so painful? Most of the time, I don’t even think I can go another day without you. I know I can’t bring myself to pray but with each day that passes, I wish I struggle less with why you left without saying goodbye and with staying up all night so scared and angry about having to live the rest of my life not knowing why you chose not to tell any of us that you were dying. I love and miss you more than life itself, more than everything in this world alone …”